If you offend my family. I. Will. Find. You. I will go full crazy. My sister Kelsey is a brilliant artist. I was unable to make it out to one of her last shows. This is a letter I actually sent. I tracked down this loser on facebook and asked for his email, because what I needed to say was longer than the allowed text characters. He apparently called my sister crying and apologizing. He still needs to apologize to my mom, and I think it would be a nice gesture for him to buy my sister and mother a Mother/Daughter spa day. Without him obviously. He also never responded to me, so he is not forgiven in my book.
Hi Clown. I believe I have the correct person. If not, then we this will just be awkward forever between us. However this is not a pleasant conversation and this will remain between us. I was sadly unable to fly out for what appears to have been Kelseys best and most beautiful show. It is no surprise that Kelsey is clearly going to make it big one day. And it's important to have classy and truly supportive people surround her. Hints of jealousy and egos are toxic to her. Which is where my problem with you comes in. I spoke with my Mother. You came up. First of all at an art show, especially one of a friend - you should not ever be drunk. Yes, the wine was free, but we all know that it was meant entertain while potential buyers walk around and admire. By all means have a glass or two, but then stop and just socialize and talk about how badass your friend is. Whether you remember it or not, at one point you were having a conversation with my Mother about how another woman looks. You commented on how she looks fake and has had “work” done on her face. Are you 5 years old? That is another human you are talking about, within earshot. Who the fuck cares if she had work done, that is none of your business. What any women does with her body is zero concern of yours. Unless she is beating the shit out of you (Which would have come from me) then you say nothing! This woman isn’t even the main beef with you. This is. AND THEN! Then you had the classless audacity to comment back to my Mother how you preferred “natural tits like yours” gesturing towards my Mothers chest.
You sexually harassed and objectified my Mother while at my little sisters gallery art show that she has been preparing and curating for 6 months!
Unacceptable. I can guarantee you that had I been there I would have asked you to step outside and slapped you in the face and asked you to leave. I can also guarantee you that I will be at her next show, and the one after that, and the one after that. I am the no nonsense bouncer of this family and you have crossed a line.
I was also informed that at one point you claimed to be responsible for 80% of Kelsey’s sales. (And then you rubbed your hands together saying something about her being a millionaire too and how it will benefit you) Fuck off. Seriously, how big is your ego? Sure, you were drunk, but we all know the truth that spills from drunken bodies. Kelsey is LITERALLY the hardest working artist I have ever met. Out of every other fucking human I have met and heard of combined. Kelsey is extraordinarily unique. I have distinct memories of her as a child painting. I remember the room we use to share then being converted into a studio for her. I have gone on countless trips with her to art stores to get paint. For well over a decade all she has ever requested as a Christmas or Birthday present is paint and brushes. Literally 14 years of only asking for more paint so she could paint. I remember the high school art classes she took. I remember all of her studios in Denton and how most of her living space has always been dedicated to her craft. She has a creative drive unlike any I have ever seen in any other human being. And I know you see it too. I have a fine art degree too, I know she is good and do not feel the slightest bit biased because she is my sister. The fact that she is my sister is a wonderful gift to me. She is outrageously kind and gives people way too many chances on top of emptying her soul for the ones she loves. She has deep spectrum of feelings that others simply cannot relate to. Kelsey is a rare and special bird, possibly the only one of her kind on this planet right now. And you showed up to her art show as a “friend” and insulted her and my other members of my family. She is incredibly smart and savvy and her hard work hard is paying off. You may have introduced her to some people, but do not claim to be responsible for her success. If you want to help, great. But if you are just going to her shows to promote yourself then get the fuck out of her way.
And if you respect her and my family at all you will keep this between us. We are going to call this disaster of a night Strike One. Even though multiple offenses occurred. If you reach out to her and bring it up and make her feel bad for her “crazy sister talking to you” And it will turn into a big giant thing. Because while it might make you feel better, the fact that my Dad doesnt know you insulted and objectified my Mother is kind of a saving grace to you. Also if it turns into a thing I will have to fly out to kick your ass. Kelsey, Meghan, and my Mother are the sweet and nurturing ones. My father and I are the ass kickers. We are the ones who have fire in our blood, and for 98% of our lives the rage stays inside. Do not fuck with my family or you will see the 2% from both of us. If you want to be in Kelsey’s life, great. Be in her life as a supportive artist and friend. Be in her life as a guide. Not as a leech. I know she likes and trusts you. But you better get your shit together next time she has a show. I'll be there.