Youre Not Funny or Clever #1

Youre not funny or clever.  I posted a little "reminder" the other day about the fact that I charge actual dollars, hundreds and sometimes thousands of them, for my services.  Why?  Because I was suddenly hit with a large amount of requests from people I know and strangers asking for 2-8 hours of my time and talent, plus editing, for free.   Nope.  I dont work for free.  But alas, my message was lost in translation because I am a woman.  I was not taken seriously as a business person.   Mr. Little Boy Shirtless over here decided to ask if I would be willing to trade snacks?  No.  But again, he pushed it.  Not accepting my answer as a woman.  This is my business and livelihood, not lunch time in grade school.  I will not trade all of my my artistry, my heart and soul, and expertise for your offering of "Chips and Salsa."

I would like to note that one of my favorite clients the morning that this exchange was happening, well she just happened to show up and greet me at the beginning of our photoshoot with Banana Pudding from her favorite bakery.  That is fine! In fact its fantastic and so adorably sweet.  SHE gets it!  SHE did it right.  SHE booked her shoot and paid for my artistry because she respects who I am and what I do.  

Mr. Little Boy Shirtless also did not say anything back, deleted his comment, and unfriended me. 

And remember.  No is the end of discussion, not the beginning of a conversation.   

 

 

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Why on earth would you make this tab for your website?

This seems like a strange and angry tab to make on your website.  It might scare away some clients.  It might make you look unprofessional and emotionally unstable.  How dare you, a woman, express all these feelings of anger on a website that you pay for.  

Are we done with that part? Ok good.  

I am a strange and angry woman.

I am a fox.  I know this. I am tall, tan, blue eyes, blonde hair, and in pretty good shape.  But does that mean that it is ok for men to slip in dirty comments everywhere they can? Nope. 

Is it ok for you to call me a bitch when I dont agree with you? Nope

What about cunt? Nope.

Is it ok to harass me while I am working? Nope. 

Is it ok if you catcall me on the street. Nope. 

But what if you see me with a friend at a pool casually swimming around with our heads above water so that we can still chit-chat about our lives, to then try and lurk your way into our lane and space and conversation for 45 minutes?  Nope.  45 minutes this creep swam next to us and wouldnt go away or take the hint.  

Is it ok when you private message me dirty things on my social media and business pages? Nope.

Is it ok to ask what my plans are later or if I am dating anyone while I am working? Nope. 

Is it ok to touch me if we are not in a romantic relationship? Nope? Dont fucking touch me! 

Is it ok to lurk around and try to "help" me while I am working? Nope.  I am a professional.  Get out of my way. 

What if I am a drunk groomsman at a wedding?  Can I linger around and flirt with you in front of my boys?  Nope.  I will shut you down and embarrass you.  Seriously, dont hit on the wedding photographer!  Our days are up to 18 hours long, these are huge contracts with hundreds of people to coordinate.   We cannot miss any shots or any moments by having to go out of our way to avoid creepy groomsmen, uncles, and other drunk guest trying to grope us.   

But what if we go out and I really want to kiss you even though you stated clearly before hanging out that this was just a fun and simple "get to know each other" kind of outing.    So that means I should try 3 different times to kiss you correct?  Nope!  Thats just going to make me not trust you and ghost you.  

Is it ok to say anything to me that you wouldnt say to a male professional photographer? Probably not.  

Is it ok to take my photo without my consent and then try to use it as a pick up line? Nope.  "Hey, I took this cool pic of you on my phone, whats your number Ill text it to you"   

Is it ok when you text it to me even though I gave you my number under strict context of a business and networking relationship? Especially if you are 30 years older than me? Nope.  And ewww! 

If you find yourself having to use the phrase "I was just joking around" then you are probably being offensive.  Im funny, and I dont have to explain my jokes or sense of humor.  People get it, they are charmed over by it, they find it unique.  How about you figure out a way to communicate and express your ideas without putting down other people. 

JUST BECAUSE I AM HOT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ENTITLED TO ASK AND SAY DIRTY QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS TO ME.   Do not send me pictures of your unimpressive dick.  Just because I am a woman and I call you out on your bullshit, dont then turn around and tell me I am being irrational.   I have experienced a massive amount of sexism this week, and Im done.  Im posting all of it.  I literally only have this problem with men.  Women are not creepy.  Women help each other.  Women are nice and if they see me working they let me work.  Women get each other water and tell all their friends about your skills as a photographer, artist, good with kids, good with pets, they talk about my patience and my travels and every other aspect of my personality that has nothing to do with trying to get in my pants.  Women are not the problem.  

Obviously I also have many stories of very respectful and wonderful men I have worked with.  Most men get it.  Most men are nice humans.  I do not hate men.  But I am an angry feminist and there has been an excess in bullshit lately and I am sick of it.  

He sexted me, then called me a bitch for not participating back

I have a 14 page document on the reasons I hate this man.  Things turned sour and he became very cruel.  I am grateful I never lost myself and became completely broken.  Reading back though that 14 pages was intense, and I feel if I were any weaker I would not have survived his verbal abuse as well as I did.  I am lucky to have goofy happy friends that constantly remind me how fun life is.  I am lucky I am a happy person.   This was the biggest dating burn that Ive ever been hit with.  I was lucky, I only dated him for a month, some women get trapped for years.   He has multiple offenses in my book.  He has stolen my photos that I took of myself with my camera and skills, posted them for sale on his website, and tries to sell them still in coffee shops and at art fairs.  I have documentation of everything, but for now I simply dont want him in my life.  Its not worth a cease and desist letter, its not worth small claims court or copyright infringement.  They arent nude photos, but still they are legally mine. 

This was our final conversation.  After not seeing each other or really talking for about a month.  He sexted me out of the blue, and then called me a bitch for not participating back.  I blocked him from everything right then and there.  

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You Sexually Harassed my Mom.

If you offend my family.  I.  Will.  Find.  You.  I will go full crazy.  My sister Kelsey is a brilliant artist.  I was unable to make it out to one of her last shows.  This is a letter I actually sent.  I tracked down this loser on facebook and asked for his email, because what I needed to say was longer than the allowed text characters.   He apparently called my sister crying and apologizing.  He still needs to apologize to my mom, and I think it would be a nice gesture for him to buy my sister and mother a Mother/Daughter spa day.  Without him obviously.  He also never responded to me, so he is not forgiven in my book.  

Hi Clown.  I believe I have the correct person.  If not, then we this will just be awkward forever between us.  However this is not a pleasant conversation and this will remain between us.  I was sadly unable to fly out for what appears to have been Kelseys best and most beautiful show.  It is no surprise that Kelsey is clearly going to make it big one day. And it's important to have classy and truly supportive people surround her.  Hints of jealousy and egos are toxic to her. Which is where my problem with you comes in. I spoke with my Mother. You came up. First of all at an art show, especially one of a friend - you should not ever be drunk.  Yes, the wine was free, but we all know that it was meant entertain while potential buyers walk around and admire. By all means have a glass or two, but then stop and just socialize and talk about how badass your friend is.  Whether you remember it or not, at one point you were having a conversation with my Mother about how another woman looks. You commented on how she looks fake and has had “work” done on her face. Are you 5 years old? That is another human you are talking about, within earshot.  Who the fuck cares if she had work done, that is none of your business. What any women does with her body is zero concern of yours. Unless she is beating the shit out of you (Which would have come from me) then you say nothing! This woman isn’t even the main beef with you. This is. AND THEN! Then you had the classless audacity to comment back to my Mother how you preferred “natural tits like yours” gesturing towards my Mothers chest.  

You sexually harassed and objectified my Mother while at my little sisters gallery art show that she has been preparing and curating for 6 months!

Unacceptable.  I can guarantee you that had I been there I would have asked you to step outside and slapped you in the face and asked you to leave.  I can also guarantee you that I will be at her next show, and the one after that, and the one after that. I am the no nonsense bouncer of this family and you have crossed a line.  

I was also informed that at one point you claimed to be responsible for 80% of Kelsey’s sales.  (And then you rubbed your hands together saying something about her being a millionaire too and how it will benefit you)  Fuck off. Seriously, how big is your ego? Sure, you were drunk, but we all know the truth that spills from drunken bodies.   Kelsey is LITERALLY the hardest working artist I have ever met. Out of every other fucking human I have met and heard of combined.  Kelsey is extraordinarily unique. I have distinct memories of her as a child painting. I remember the room we use to share then being converted into a studio for her.  I have gone on countless trips with her to art stores to get paint. For well over a decade all she has ever requested as a Christmas or Birthday present is paint and brushes.   Literally 14 years of only asking for more paint so she could paint. I remember the high school art classes she took. I remember all of her studios in Denton and how most of her living space has always been dedicated to her craft.  She has a creative drive unlike any I have ever seen in any other human being. And I know you see it too. I have a fine art degree too, I know she is good and do not feel the slightest bit biased because she is my sister. The fact that she is my sister is a wonderful gift to me. She is outrageously kind and gives people way too many chances on top of emptying her soul for the ones she loves.   She has deep spectrum of feelings that others simply cannot relate to. Kelsey is a rare and special bird, possibly the only one of her kind on this planet right now. And you showed up to her art show as a “friend” and insulted her and my other members of my family. She is incredibly smart and savvy and her hard work hard is paying off. You may have introduced her to some people, but do not claim to be responsible for her success.  If you want to help, great. But if you are just going to her shows to promote yourself then get the fuck out of her way.

And if you respect her and my family at all you will keep this between us.   We are going to call this disaster of a night Strike One. Even though multiple offenses occurred.  If you reach out to her and bring it up and make her feel bad for her “crazy sister talking to you” And it will turn into a big giant thing.  Because while it might make you feel better, the fact that my Dad doesnt know you insulted and objectified my Mother is kind of a saving grace to you.   Also if it turns into a thing I will have to fly out to kick your ass. Kelsey, Meghan, and my Mother are the sweet and nurturing ones. My father and I are the ass kickers.  We are the ones who have fire in our blood, and for 98% of our lives the rage stays inside. Do not fuck with my family or you will see the 2% from both of us. If you want to be in Kelsey’s life, great.  Be in her life as a supportive artist and friend. Be in her life as a guide. Not as a leech. I know she likes and trusts you. But you better get your shit together next time she has a show. I'll be there.

Dont Tell Me How To Edit My Photos

This ass-hat actually had the audacity to re-edit one of my images and send it back to me.  Um excuse me WHAT?  That is like repainting over a painting and mailing it back to the artist!?   Did you know that I spent 4 years in the sub basement of my University developing images in the darkroom.  I have been trained to see all the subtle and tiny differences in tonality in a black and white.  I can think in black and white images.  When I am shooting I already know how I am going to edit each picture.  A few months ago I posted two pictures on Instagram asking "Which do you like better?  Black and White or Color?"  Its a simple question yes?  This clown of a photographer re-edits my black and white one and sends it back.  Why a clown? Because when I went to his page before he blocked me his images were way over edited.   There was too much sharpening, too much contrast, and just bad composition through out his feed.  I am the better photographer here.  Yes I compare my work to others and often find I am miles above in skill level and technique.  Whatever, we are all on different paths.  But you crossed the line dear stupid Jay, and pissed me off.    I am very proud of my black and white images.  I have a consistent flow in my editing and I can guarantee that any image picked out on my website printed up large would look incredible.  The problem is not my photography or editing style.  Your vignettes that you love so much cheapen your already shit photography.   The problem is you Jay, and how you think any of this interaction is ok and welcomed.  Fuck you.  

I was going to use his name and account, but then I remembered he is a small brained Trump supporter and I want nothing to do with promoting the current joke and disaster of the sitting president.  He then messaged my friend Heather saying something along the lines of "Your friend Rachel is an uptight entitled bitch who cant handle criticism"  And if you look, I literally just said the one single statement to him about our different editing styles.  Luckily I grabbed this screenshot before he blocked me.   

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Dont use the word "If" in an apology

When you use the word "if" as a loophole in your apology, its not an apology.  You are reversing the blame back onto the person you offended.  Fucking own up to being called out on your crappy behavior.  Yes.  You fucking offended me. Where is the questions of "if?"  Your apology doesnt count.  This particular instance it took me a while to even realize the sexism happening.  But I think you can tell where I became pissed.  It was when I lied about having plans with my friend, because I didnt want to meet with him.  This man is a photographer I met for all of 5 minutes at an event last week.  I was hot and it was at the end of my day, and he stood way to close to me and kept encroaching on my personal space.  We exchanged information under the context of work and networking.  This is the same event with my Letter to the Bald Jackass.  This photographer is also an old white male with the opposite of the traditional "yoga body"  

I blocked out his name because he did try to apologize, even though I am not counting it.  But more importantly I still have clients I respect and work with attached to this disaster of an event.

But seriously, dont use the word "if" in an apology.  "Oh, Im sorry if you were offended sweetie pie..."   I have heard all forms of this patronizing apology and Im done.     

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A letter I will never send

A Letter to the Bald Jackass that I had the Misfortune of Working Next to on Saturday

Jackass,

I will not address you as Sir or Gentleman.  Both of those command respect. Some might even argue that by calling someone Sir it then puts the other person in a submissive position.  But a mountain cannot bow to the wind, no matter how loud it howls. I do not know your name. I do not respect you. I do not like you. And you are no certainly gentleman.  So I will only refer to here as Jackass.

You, Jackass,  stood behind me and berated me for an hour.  You, Jackass, tried to rush me. You, Jackass, scoffed and muttered insults under your breath just loud enough for only me to hear.  I was working with a line of 300 children that required a minimal amount direction, because a 4 year old does not instinctively understand the procedure of a Step and Repeat photoshoot, and I had one hour to photograph everyone.  Your football player was 21 minutes late. My camera is time-stamped. Even if he was on time, it was an impossible task for one photographer to handle. Instead of helping, you stood just behind me and outside of my peripheral vision about two feet away from me.  Every 5 minutes or so for a full hour you huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf. You ordered me to go faster on 7 different occasions. Thats right, it was so frequent that I started counting. You told me to stop counting to 3 while shooting. You demanded that one of me on four occasions.  You told me to just “snap” the photos. While my whole body was not fighting not to “snap” your head off. And when my camera over heated, as I predicted, and used all the energy in the battery - I paused the shoot for no more than 15 seconds to pull my spare and charged batteries from the pocket of my pants and swap it out.  To which you responded “Jesus Fucking Christ!! We dont have time for this!” You were LITERALLY shoving each and every child into the photo station. So hard and aggressively that about a quarter of them tripped and had to regain their balance as they stumbled over to your football player. Over and over you said that “We’ve been doing this for 3 years and its never been this slow”  And still I smiled for the children. I took a moment to very briefly engage and compliment each of them. “Wow thats a great smile buddy! Stay just like that for a second picture!” Again, my images are time stamped. I was averaging 5 to 6 children smiling directly at the camera, with big real smiles, a minute. Two shots each, because about 20% of them blinked. Do you know why all the children were looking at the camera and smiling even though they were all very confused by the whole process.  Because of me!! Because I am good at working with children. Because I started babysitting at 15. Because I spent 10 years as a camp counselor. Because I was a high-school art teacher. Because I’ve been a professional photographer for 10 years and joyfully engaging with children is a major asset to my income. I made those pictures extraordinary. Despite the devil screaming in my right ear behind my back. I literally couldn’t shoot faster. Cameras, even nice ones, are not meant for machine-gun style firing.  (I can only imagine the disappointment you are in bed) And that flash sitting on top of my camera? Yeah that takes at least 3 to 5 seconds between shots to recharge. It is a sharp burst of power and light shooting out of the device running on AA batteries. (I also had 4 extra batteries in my other pocket, charged and ready to go) I dont know what bullshit make believe world you are living in, but I literally could not have gone faster. My first shot of your football player happened at 8:21am. The last shot, 297 images later, was at 9:06am.  Thats final printed images, not children because we know there were some large groups. You scolded me when you looked at the line of over 100 children in the sun and yelled “We only have eight minutes left! You need to shoot faster or its not going to get done!” You scolded me again when we finished saying that the whole day was behind now.

How FUCKING dare you stand behind me, outside of my vision and berate me like that.  Your’e a slimy coward! To stand behind a woman and shit talk her only loud enough for her to hear while she is working.  You scoffed and mocked me relentlessly. You screamed at the children. You, Jackass, are a tyrant. This is my career. This is my profession and NEVER have I been so blatantly cut down and humiliated and degraded while literally on the job!  How dare you blame and fault me, for what was clearly poor planning on the other end. I had to demand a table and a chair to set up my print station. I was put in a little niche underneath the bleachers that smelled like human piss. On a 95 degree day instead of a refreshing breeze that everyone else got, I experienced the hot draft of old urine. I had to demand a table and a chair, for my electronics to sit on.  As if I was expected to set them up on the track circle. How dare you belittle me and get in my head to the point where I called my boss in tears to warn her there might be a complaint against me. How dare you screw with my head and my profession the way that you did! That 6 hour time block was hands down the worst experience I have ever had as a professional photographer. I was insulted the first hour, which broke me down substantially for the remainder of the day, I was drenched in sweat, having initially been told I would be inside, and my work station smelled like hot human piss.  

So to you, the bald jackass I had the extreme misfortune of working near last Saturday, go fuck yourself.  

P.S. I hope with all my heart that you painfully vomit every time you are about to get laid.  For the next 7 years.  Why 7 years? It takes 7 years for all the cells to replace themselves. So in 7 years you will be a different person.  Maybe all of those cells wont combine into such a cowardly misogynist degrading know-it-all Jackass.   Say that 7 times fast! You are a cowardly misogynist degrading know-it-all Jackass. You are a cowardly misogynist degrading know-it-all Jackass....

The Photographer.

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Instagrams New Feature

I love Instagram.  But sadly as they release new features that are meant to connect you with your audience it also opens the doors to all the creeps.  I posted a story with the prompt "Ask me a Question"  One account asked me "When and where was your most romantic night?"  Slightly thrown off and confused I decided to direct message him and see what his intentions behind that question were.  He made it worse by asking me when I lost my "V-Card".  I gave him 48 hours to apologize, he did not.  He has been blocked. 

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